2 1/2 weeks and counting

OK, so I now have 2 1/2 weeks before my audition at the Longy School of Music in Cambridge. I am really nervous about it all, but I am also looking forward to meeting professors and such. I have been working hard to get my audition pieces together so that I don't suck when I get there. Wow... I think that I have picked good music that really speaks to me and will let them know that I am serious about my music. I am playing the Toccata from the Toccata & Fugue in D minor (NOT the famous one everyone overplays) by JS Bach. It is piecing together quite nicely since I started looking at it in earnest these past few weeks. I am also planning on playing the final section of the Grande Piece Symphonique by Cesar Franck. That piece is a behemoth, but it is still one of my favorite pieces for the organ that I can see myself performing for the rest of my life. Finally, it is a toss-up between a Chorale Prelude by Hubert Parry or the opening of the Fantasia in F minor by Leroy Robertson. I'll have to check with my professor and possibly the Longy professors to see if the Parry is different enough style- and period-wise from Franck to play, otherwise it's the Robertson. Anyway, I am expecting good things to happen and I am really looking forward to getting out there and seeing the place that I have been in love with for almost a year. I am also excited to see my friends Dan and Michael who just recently moved up there. And Renee Fleming is performing with the Boston Symphony that weekend, so I might try and save up and go see her. She's performing the Vier Letzte Lieder (Four Last Songs) by Richard Strauss. They are some of the most gorgeous pieces of music in the world, and she is by far my favorite interpretor of the work. Anyway, enough of all that. I still have two weeks here before I go, so I need to stay focused and just practice hard. Lots to do, so let's not dilly-dally. We'll see soon how it all turns out. (Fingers and toes are all crossed for luck, and my front teeth [but I can't help that one...])

2010, like 2009 only less sucky

So I wanted to report that I have experienced vast improvement in my academic and personal life over the past several weeks. I have recently returned to BYU for my final semester, and I have so far only missed 1) the first day of class, since I was en route at the time and 2) one additional class period of my MWF 8am class. I am already doing so much better than I was. It feels as if the past year or so was a blanket of fog. I couldn't see any way through or around, but now that I'm out of it, everything seems so much prettier and peaceful than they had been in the fog. I mostly thank my new dosages of medication for helping me through. Also, I have wonderful friends and a wonderful family, all very supportive and wonderful people that I love deeply. Aside from next month when I will be in Boston auditioning for graduate school, I intend to not miss any classes from now til the end of the semester. And I think I finally have the tools necessary to ensure that it happens. And this time next month I can feel good about myself for having practiced more and getting things done, and giving a great audition. Anyway, that's all I have to say, since it is getting late and I'm tired from being up since 7am... Oh well, academia isn't easy, you know.

Ummm...

So the past few weeks have definitely not been the best weeks of my life. Not even close... But, life is slowly moving on, and I think that things are falling together in a good enough way that I am not feeling an urge to jump off the nearest cliff. I had to withdraw from two of my classes that I was not getting caught up in. One of these classes will not be offered again until Fall 2011, and let's face it: I'm not willing to stick around for that. After discussing options with both organ professors, I decided to look into the idea of leaving BYU with a near-complete BM and then complete the one class at another school (again, Longy). So basically I would be concurrently doing my BM and MM. I asked this school if they would accept that, and then the Director of Admissions said that they could work with me on that. That really made me happy. If all else fails, I will just grab my BA in Music and call it good. But if Longy will accept me with an incomplete degree and I finish after I've left, then I would consider myself incredibly blessed. The Longy School has really come to fit the bill of what I am looking for. Every time I think that I'm gonna lose my chance, something else comes up. It's almost as if I am meant to go there. Whether or not that holds up in the end mostly depends on how my audition goes in February, but I still have a really good feeling about the school. So even though my life seems to be a constant hell (a march through hell with a man strapped to your back and nasty litter of babies dangling from your teeths, to quote Gertrude Moon [Frasier]), I feel that there is still progress in my life. I also have very supportive professors who are trying to help me get through all of this, despite my personal problems. I am grateful for them, and I will certainly miss them after I've left. I just need a change of scenery and a fresh start elsewhere. So, in about 2 1/2 months from now, I will be in Boston, auditioning at the school of my dreams. Let's hope that I can get my things pulled together before then. So listen up Mr. Franck. I'm gonna get you, and your little 'Grande Pièce Symphonique' too!

Catch-Up

I sometimes forget why I even have a blog. I'm still not sure why really, but I guess I just like to write down things that I am feeling at any given moment in time. Things in school are going OK I suppose. I am still not incredibly good at getting to my classes, but I am doing far better than I once did. I have already been to my classes more than I had in any of them last semester. That's an improvement. But at the same time, I find that I am still struggling with certain things in life that I doubt will ever fully fall into place where I want it. That's ok, though. It gives me some things to strive for. A good friend of mine visited this weekend. She is currently attending the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY. Just talking to her about life outside of BYU makes me want to try harder to get stuff done here so I can experience life outside of here. I want to grow as a musician, and I feel that I am reaching a plateau here at the Cougar U. So, hopefully, when next fall rolls around, I will find myself somewhere else (cough, cough... LONGY), but we'll see. Until then, I need to step up my game and get things done. I am a little behind in a couple of classes, but I am doing much better. I should be caught up by the end of this coming weekend. That will be nice.

So close!

So school starts in less than two weeks, and contrary to popular opinion, I am ready to go. I am, believe it or not, kinda tired of living in Provo and would like to try something new. I have been in contact with the Director of Admissions as well as the Head of the Early Music Department at Longy (the organ degrees are offered through that department, but I am not restricted to early music). Both have been very kind to me in regards to questions I have about the school. As I have stated before, this school is an amazing opportunity for me, and I would feel very honored to be accepted there. Auditions are being held in February. The Admissions director actually told me that, since there are very few organ applicants each year, they will most likely be able to work around my schedule if needed. That was pretty cool. Coming from BYU, where the music department has roughly 800 or so music majors, it will be quite a change. Longy has less than 250 students. So, if we did it by proportions, 15 out of 800 students are organists here at BYU. That would mean (proportionally, of course) that less than 4 out of the 250 students at Longy are organists. That would be awesome! Well, mainly because it would mean that I would get even more individual attention from my professors, especially as a graduate student. Anyway, not saying that number is accurate (still waiting to hear back from Professor Fitch), but it is still a neat place.

Either way, I am ready to move on to the next phase of my life, which will be getting underway shortly. I am hoping to be able to visit the school sometime before Thanksgiving in order to become somewhat acquainted with the facilities and the faculty there. Prof Fitch also told me that she would arrange for me to sit in on some classes while I'm there. That would also be cool. Anyway, so that's what I am looking forward to over the course of the next year. I am ready to move on to different things and to try something new. That's what life is about, right? I don't want to be stagnate, and this would really open up opportunities, such as church musicianship, that just are not available in the predominately-LDS Utah. So yeah, let's go!

What's in a name?

So I am sort of in the mood to be sentimental. Nothing too special, but I have been thinking lately about the nicknames I have acquired over the years. They have all been such fun, so I thought I would take a minute to relive them and share the meanings behind them. There aren't too many of them, so this shouldn't be too long. OK here goes...

1. "Little Green" & "Baby Green": - This nickname came as a result of being a freshman in High School while my older brother was a senior. Since we were both orchestra musicians, I wound up meeting a lot of his friends, and they gave me the first name. Later, others picked up on it but modified it to the second one seen here. Fun times, and even funnier that, even long after Marshall was gone, I maintained the name. Even today, a few stray friends from orchestra call me that :)

2. "Duckfluff":

- This one was a very humorous event. My sophomore year of High School, I started participating in the county honor student orchestra, the GCYS (Gwinnett County Youth Symphony). I met a lot of new people that year, and one of my fellow violists did not know my name. As a result of this unfortunate event, she started to call me "Duckfluff". She even admitted that there was nothing behind that name except as a place-holder of sorts. After I introduced myself officially, we still had a good time with the name. She called me "Duckfluff" and I quacked. Yes, weren't we just such obnoxious kids...

3. "Chopin":

- This name was given to me freshman year of College at the Cougar U. After performing a musical number in Church one of my first Sundays here, my fellow wardmates decided to dub me such...It is technically a misnomer, as I am an organist...Lol, but that's not really the point. I am still known by some people by that name. Some people that year never knew what my real name was until the year was almost over. Fun times.

4. "Green":

- This is not really a nickname, as it is just my last name. However, when I was on my mission, I was referred to as Elder Green, so when I got home after almost a year of that, I was not too used to hearing my name, so I stuck with Green. Easy enough.

5. "David C. Green":

- Again, this is not technically a nickname, but there was suddenly a mass decision that, since my facebook profile says "David C. Green", that I would be referred to as such. It's funny because now, when I meet new people, the conversation is "[Annette], this is David C. Green. David C. Green, this is [Annette]." Good times.

6. "David C." or "C. Green":

- Yeah, just the two possible combinations of #5. I rather like the C. Green one. Good times.

7. "DCG"

- Yep, you guessed it. The initials. Again, probably not a nickname, but it's also not flat-out my name, so I count it.

8. "Sneaky Meat"

- This is by far the best of the bunch. Yes, it does not make any sense to the naked eye, but it is very appropriate and humorous. A friend of mine (protecting the names of the innocent) noted that my middle name was "Cunningham". Cunning = Sneaky; Ham = Meat. Tada!!

So there you have it. I have gone through quite a few for various reasons, and I have sincerely enjoyed each one. You will note, of course, that "Dave" does not appear on this list. That's right. I do not go by that name...Ever...Someone tried it once, and he hasn't been heard from since ;) Just kidding, but seriously, it's not my name. Hope you enjoy this, and maybe it reveals a little more about me. I don't know...

Reflection on my Appearance

So, I have been reminded a lot recently about my weight...or the apparent lack of any. This reminded me of an incident I had as a missionary a few years ago. Mind you, I was living in Colorado and not some bizarre exotic locale where they eat bugs or something. I had been getting increasingly ill due to a number of issues such as my clinical depression as well as undiagnosed stomach difficulties. Needless to say, my appetite had been dropping like a bowling ball, and it wasn't pretty. In a matter of maybe two months, I went from weighing 138lbs (my highest recorded weight on my mission) to weighing 118lbs. At the time of my illnesses, I was serving as a companion to two other missionaries simultaneously, Elder A and Elder B. Surprisingly, in keeping them anonymous, I notice that their last names really did start with A and B...How ironical. Anyway, I had been serving with Elder B for a few months when we "inherited" Elder A, a missionary who was with us for two weeks before he was to go home (he was leaving a month early to return to BYU for summer term). So, after the two weeks were up, Elder A's father (Brother A) came to pick him up and go home. Elder A introduced him to me and Elder B. Brother A took one look at me and said, "You look like a meth addict." That was a pretty good indication that I was in bad shape. I've seen pictures of meth addicts, and it's not a pretty sight. It was somewhat of a wake-up call for me because I had only seen the subtle changes in my appearance and was not aware of just how drastic the end result was. About two weeks after this exchange, I was sent home from my mission on medical leave. All in all, I would say that I have never been as ill since then, which is good. However, I am constantly reminded of my inability to retain weight. One of my friends, BJ, has nicknamed me "Emaciated". It's fitting. It also makes me laugh.

It's true that I don't really take care of myself physically. To me, grocery shopping means soda, chocolate, and laundry money. No fruit/vegetables, no meats and cheeses. Just chocolate and soda. No wonder I have been required by my friends to take a multi-vitamin. Oh well. The point is, I have often been concerned about my weight, trying to avoid another crash like my first one. So far, so good. And for that I am pleased.